


but we had to carry you

by katierosefun



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Has Issues, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hurt/Comfort, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Protective Ahsoka Tano, idk if it really is though, mildly happy ending??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24931456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katierosefun/pseuds/katierosefun
Summary: Ahsoka turned to find Obi-Wan following her gaze, and then, clearing her throat, she asked, “What are you doing here, Mater Kenobi?”Obi-Wan turned those grey-blue eyes on Ahsoka. “Same reason as you, I suspect,” he replied.Ahsoka’s chest tightened. She turned towards the hanger, where Anakin was rolling out from under the starfighter. Even from far away, Ahsoka could make out the slightly ashen pallor of his face, the circles under his eyes. His movements were mechanical, stiff as he picked up a tool, wiped it off with a rag. And then, clearly sensing them, Anakin lifted his eyes to the entrance of the hanger.His eyes were empty as he looked back down at the tools. And then he was sliding back under the starfighter.[or: war is hard. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan find Anakin in the hanger.]
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 18
Kudos: 372





	but we had to carry you

Ahsoka hadn’t thought she would be able to sleep. The losses had been bad. _Very_ bad. So many troopers, their bodies sprawled over the ground with limbs twisted at unnatural angles, their helmets slightly tilted back to reveal the underside of their chin.

When the blaster fire and the explosions finally stopped, Ahsoka had swallowed down the bile and the scream threatening to tear out of her throat. Each movement, each step had been mechanic after that. She had found Rex—Rex, alive, to her great relief—but with his armor singed and someone else’s blood staining his front.

And then Ahsoka had found Anakin, sitting beside a trooper. She had been too far away to make out the words Anakin was saying, but she saw him rest a hand on his shoulder. Saw his lips moving, and then the trooper’s head had dropped in silent relief. Ahsoka had seen Anakin’s head bow for a moment, saw his hand clench, and then Anakin had lifted his head to look at her.

They hadn’t said anything—not as Ahsoka, Anakin, and Rex quietly collected the dead. A few other troopers who had survived and were able to move aided the process. Besides the sounds of shifting bodies and the occasional muttered swear, the grounds were silent. A grim, dark silence that hung so heavy that Ahsoka felt as though she were physically sinking into the ground from the weight of it.

Obi-Wan had been waiting for them in the cruiser hanger once they came back. He hadn’t said anything—he knew the count of the losses. Ahsoka had been glad to see him, though. Glad to see someone who wasn’t streaked with ash or blood.

And after the debriefing, it was Obi-Wan who had suggested Anakin and Ahsoka and Rex to get some rest. _Told_ them, really, and Ahsoka had crashed into bed without even changing out of her singed clothes. She didn’t care, though. Her entire body ached too much, her head and heart feeling too much for the rest of her.

And maybe the Force took pity on her, because Ahsoka lapsed into a dark, dreamless sleep—or at least, that was what it had been before she suddenly started up, her hands bracing against the mattress. Her head rang. _Pay attention_.

Ahsoka swung her legs off the bed and pushed herself up, ignoring the groan of protest in her limbs. She slipped on her boots and, wiping the sleep from her eyes, she padded out of her quarters. She was instantly met with the bright lights of the corridor, the distant thrum of the ship’s engines somewhere far below.

Ahsoka rubbed at her eyes again. She wasn’t sure what had waken her, just that—

And then she felt it: anger, grief, sorrow, shame. They came in flashes of deep reds and dark purples, sickly colors like that of a bruise. A _heat_ tinged with each of them, the uncomfortable kind from getting too close to a fire or an explosion.

“Anakin,” Ahsoka murmured. She turned down the hall, where she knew she wouldn’t find Anakin in his quarters. He had to be somewhere else on the ship then, pointedly not resting despite Obi-Wan’s suggestion. Order. Whichever it was.

Ahsoka let out a breath.

And without thinking better of it, she let her feet guide her down the hallways, around the corners. She saw a few troopers and managed a nod at them. She didn’t bother trying to smile—they didn’t expect her to, and smiling felt wrong anyways.

She didn’t need to ask where Anakin was. She didn’t have to. She could feel him as she navigated the levels of the ship, using his presence as a beacon. She found herself unsurprisingly being led down to the hangers— _of course he would be at the hangers_ —and she was just about to enter when she found Obi-Wan rounding the corner opposite hers.

“Ahsoka?”

“Master Kenobi,” Ahsoka said, stopping short. She dropped her head into a hasty bow.

“I thought you were resting?” Obi-Wan asked, lifting his eyebrows.

“I was,” Ahsoka replied defensively. “I just…” She knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help it: she looked into the hanger anyways, where she spied Anakin under his starfighter. She could only see his legs and the distant spark of wires, but she knew the face he would be wearing.

“Ah.”

Ahsoka turned to find Obi-Wan following her gaze, and then, clearing her throat, she asked, “What are you doing here, Mater Kenobi?”

Obi-Wan turned those grey-blue eyes on Ahsoka. “Same reason as you, I suspect,” he replied.

Ahsoka’s chest tightened. She turned towards the hanger, where Anakin was rolling out from under the starfighter. Even from far away, Ahsoka could make out the slightly ashen pallor of his face, the circles under his eyes. His movements were mechanical, stiff as he picked up a tool, wiped it off with a rag. And then, clearly sensing them, Anakin lifted his eyes to the entrance of the hanger.

His eyes were empty as he looked back down at the tools. And then he was sliding back under the starfighter.

Ahsoka looked at Obi-Wan. His face was set in a weary yet determined expression as he started down the hanger. A few steps in, and Obi-Wan turned to Ahsoka. “You should go back to—”

“Not a chance,” Ahsoka replied, walking in after him. At Obi-Wan’s mildly amused—but tired—look, Ahsoka added, her face burning, “Master Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan only gave Ahsoka a small smile, which she returned albeit a bit sheepishly.

And then they were walking together, side by side before coming to a slow stop in front of Anakin.

Anakin was still under the starfighter. “Go back to sleep, Ahsoka,” Anakin said, his voice slightly echoing from under the fighter. There was the hiss of some sparks, and then a muffled swear. “Artoo, give me the—”

But Ahsoka dropped down to the pile of tools and passed it to Anakin’s open palm before the droid could move.

“Thanks,” Anakin said, still not looking.

“You’re welcome,” Ahsoka replied, sitting down on the ground.

A silence and then, annoyed now, “Obi-Wan, tell my Padawan to go back to her quarters.”

His voice flat, Obi-Wan said to Ahsoka, “Padawan, go back to your quarters.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Goodness, Anakin, do you hear that? She doesn’t want to.”

“Very funny,” Anakin said. “A real riot.” Another few hisses, and then a dull _clang_ from what Ahsoka guessed was Anakin’s hand hitting the bottom of the starfighter.

“I make a terrible messenger, I’m afraid,” Obi-Wan only said, sitting down next to Ahsoka. “I’m not nearly convincing enough.”

A few more bangs against the bottom of the starfighter, and then Anakin’s gruff voice: “Is there a point here?”

“You should be resting,” Obi-Wan replied. “That was the point.” Another few sparks, and then Anakin hissed something that made Obi-Wan frown. The tool Anakin had been holding came sliding out of the starfighter, followed by Anakin himself.

He was worse up close. The dark circles under Anakin’s eyes were more like bruises than anything else, his face a little paler than Ahsoka had guessed from the entrance of the hanger. But he didn’t look at Ahsoka or Obi-Wan as he reached over for the pile of tools, which Obi-Wan pointedly pushed away.

Ahsoka held her breath as Anakin only levitated over whatever tool he had been looking for. “Nice try,” was all Anakin muttered before starting to go back under the starfighter, and then—

“Their deaths weren’t your fault, Anakin.”

A pause.

A flare of heat—unbearable, painful heat that made Ahsoka feel like she was once more standing at the edges of an explosion.

“They died. I was their general,” Anakin said, his voice clipped. “That’s the end of it. Comes with command.”

A memory tugged at the back of Ahsoka’s memory: another time, only back when she was younger. When she had been sitting at the edge of her fighter, feeling a similar wave of shame and guilt and unbearable grief and loss because it was _she_ who had flown a whole squadron into the enemy’s fire—

“Master,” Ahsoka said quietly. 

Anakin’s movements had stilled. Ahsoka could make out his hands still gripped to the bottom of the starfighter, could imagine the hardened look in his face as he said, “It’s been a long day. For all of us. Get some rest.” _And leave me alone_ , were the unspoken words.

Obi-Wan started to say something, but then Ahsoka reached over for the pile of tools. She picked up one of the wrenches and then, sliding under the other side of the fighter, asked, “So what exactly are we looking at?”

“What are you—”

Heart pounding fast, Ahsoka forced her voice steady as she repeated, “What are we looking at?” She tilted her head up at the bottom of the starfighter. Whistled a little at the mess. “How long have you been working on this?”

“Ahsoka—”

“Master Kenobi, you have to look at this.” Ahsoka scooted over to her side, which was a little difficult, since she didn’t want to bang her head against the underside of the fighter, but she managed just enough to leave a space for Obi-Wan. She heard a small sigh from in front of her, but then a moment later, Obi-Wan was wriggling under the fighter between Anakin and herself.

A few beats, and then Obi-Wan asked, “What am I looking at?”

“Over there,” Ahsoka said, pointing up to where a few screws and springs were loose.

“Ah,” Obi-Wan said.

“No point,” Anakin grumbled. “Obi-Wan still doesn’t get what you’re talking about, Snips.”

A part of Ahsoka relaxed. _Snips_. Safer territory.

“Really?” Ahsoka decided to ask, turning her head towards Obi-Wan. “What do you mean?”

As Obi-Wan sighed, Anakin replied, his voice still flat, “He hates flying. You can put two and two together.”

“Flying is for droids.”

“Whatever you say, Master.”

Ahsoka stifled a smile. She caught Obi-Wan looking down at her, and even in the dim light under the fighter, she caught the grateful look he flashed her. But then it was gone, replaced by a steady calm as Obi-Wan said loftily, “Yes, well, Anakin, I suppose you’ll have to take this as a teaching moment.” He shifted a little to the side. “While we’re here, you might as well show us what it is you’re working on.”

Ahsoka wished she could see Anakin’s face as he asked, “What?”

“Yeah, Master,” Ahsoka said. “What are we doing next?”

A moment of silence passed. Another.

And then, with a sigh, Anakin said, “Hand me the flashlight.”

\--

Anakin knew that they were trying.

They kept their voices light, their movements swift despite the weariness that was dragging them all down. Their hands brushed against each other as they moved through the starfighter, the sparks of the wires and the lone beam of the flashlight illuminating their faces.

They were trying.

And a part of Anakin buried itself deeper, heaping dirt over himself just as he had heaped dirt over the bodies of his men.

But then Obi-Wan and Ahsoka would look at him, eyes gentle and silently questioning, and some smaller part of Anakin reached out of the dirt, begged them to carry him out.

They were trying.

So when their work was completed, Anakin let Obi-Wan and Ahsoka tug him out from underneath the fighter. They all leaned against the cool metal surface, blinking their eyes to get adjusted to the sudden brightness of the hanger. Their breaths mingled with the sound of the cruiser’s engines somewhere below, the quiet whir and click of maintenance droids.

Finally, Ahsoka said, “We stink.” She sniffed and cringed. Anakin could tell she was, even without looking at her.

“I wonder why,” Obi-Wan mused.

“Hilarious, both of you.” Anakin.

\--

They all took a shower. And by the time they were finished, the cruiser had come out of hyperspace—they were to land on Coruscant soon.

And as Coruscant came into view, he felt Ahsoka and Obi-Wan come up beside him.

They stood together until they landed.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. I left things unsaid because I always felt like Anakin buried himself too deep into himself. Title was inspired by 'Moon Song' by Phoebe Bridgers, which I listened to on repeat while writing this.
> 
> As always, comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!


End file.
